Today a great scandal is overcoming my beautiful homeland of Italy. I, its beloved president, known to my people as Il Cavaliere, stands before the sexually frustrated pygmies of the Italian magistracy accused of misbehaviour.
And what has Silvio done this time? He has been himself, as usual! I now have so many court cases that I lose track of what I am being accused this week. Corruption, is it? Inviting young girls to parties? People-smuggling? Who knows? I am the Jesus Christ of Italian politics, crucified every day for what I am and what I do.
So to my thought for the day. Do not let the little people – the communists, the terrorists, the judges, the homosexual media liberals – change who you are. Ordinary Italians know about smears and slurs from their history. They have read the allegations of the "inappropriate parenting" of Romulus and Remus, of the suggestion that Machiavelli lacked people skills, of the so-called "Rape of the Sabine Women".
Basta! I cannot and will not change the personality of Italy's best-loved leader since Mussolini.
If I hold the occasional bunga-bunga party, it is because Italy leads the world in joy. Look at the face of President Obama. Does he look like a man who has had a teenage showgirl wiggling her tush in front of him as she dreams of becoming a weather forecaster? No. It is why his ratings are limp while mine are proud and virile.
If I encourage the career of a 17-year-old called Ruby the Heartbreaker, it is because, unlike most politicians, I care for my country's youth. I work tirelessly to show them that this life is all about pushing yourself when the opportunity is offered. It is what you put in, not what you get out, that matters.
If I appoint good-looking women, some of whom have been photographed without too many clothes, to ministerial positions, it is because politics needs pretty women. Angela Merkel and Hillary Clinton may have their strengths but do they look as if they have put a smile on a man's face recently?
So Il Cavaliere brings a simple message to you. Embrace life, embrace youth, embrace beauty whenever possible. Generosity is its own reward.
As told to Terence Blacker
curtsy-The Indipendent
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